Hi my loves,
It’s time I come clean about the time I gave up on a huge manifestation I’d been working on for over a year. It's been a while ago but it feels like one of my core memories.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t manifest it.
It’s one of those experiences that quietly changes how you see yourself and what “manifestation” or "spirituality" really mean.
I found manifestation because I wanted to change my life. I dreamed of something better - a job, a lifestyle, a version of me that felt aligned. I had a clear vision of what that should look like. And I had this vision for a long time, just didn't feel empowered enough to pursue it.
And honestly?
I’m terrible at manifesting.
I’m also fabulous at manifesting.
Both are true - and I can find proof of both in my life.
But today, I want to talk about the one manifestation that drained me more than it fulfilled me.
I was trying to manifest a specific person.
I was sure it was meant to be. I believed it was aligned. But I was so focused on the outcome that I didn’t notice how exhausted I was becoming.
Manifesting stopped feeling like love and joy… and started feeling like lack. That heavy, sinking feeling in your stomach when you want something so badly it hurts.
I was working on my emotional regulation skills then - one of the pillars I now teach in my program Unwavering Manifestor.
Learning to soothe my nervous system changed everything.. I was getting better at it - mostly because I had to use it a lot. The feelings of loss, unworthiness, and “not enough” were still there. For a long while. And I wanted them GONE.
Then something shifted. I started to accept what I was feeling, instead of trying to fix it. And with that acceptance came a quiet realization:
Maybe it’s okay to let go of this desire. It felt like such a burden. Why am I doing this?
When your nervous system expands, one of two things happens:
- You finally manifest what you want, because it feels natural and you’re ready to hold it - and it starts unfolding before your eyes.
- Or… you realize how much energy it costs to pretend you already have it - and you finally let it go. Maybe this energy can be spent better elsewhere...
Eventually, I saw that using all my energy to hold on to this one desire scared me more than the idea of it never happening.
So my so-called “failure” to manifest came down to this:
- Honesty - I stopped pretending in front of myself.
- Openness - I didn't block it, but left the door open for it to still happen if it's meant to be.
- Maturity - I released attachment to how it unfolds.
- Empowerment - I chose where my energy goes. Building the life I love!
At first, I felt silly - like I was giving up when I was supposed to persist. Did the ego win? But then came relief. I didn’t have to try so hard anymore. I could breathe again.
Your breakthrough is on the other side of the vulnerability you're avoiding.
I didn’t stop wanting it - I just stopped letting it define me. Maybe that was the whole point of this particular desire: self-realization. That’s true detachment.
This is the real work of emotional regulation and nervous system expansion - the foundation of everything I teach. And it serves us FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. It's like learning how to drive - it's with you forever.
Some will look at this story and think - she failed to manifest. Lame.
It’s not for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. The ones ready for this kind of honesty will recognize themselves here. Beyond the human idea of a plan - that's just a way to keep the illusion of control.
If you’re in that same space - trying to manifest love or a specific person - I see you. I feel you. 💛 You are already whole and the love you feel for others is the love that is always within you.
And whatever you decide - keep going and persist vs let it go - you're going to do just wonderful. I promise.
All decisions are good decisions when you know that all happens for you exactly as it was supposed to ❤️
I released a new video last week about why we can manifest someone into our lives… and why they sometimes leave again. It’ll bring so much clarity if you’ve been in that cycle.
>> You manifested them BACK but then they left AGAIN <<
